I'm often asked "where is your shop?" and "what happens if I don't like the torch?" This short list aims to answer these and other common questions.

1. Torchguy.Com is an online store – we don't have a shop, staff or demo torches (our prices would be a LOT higher if we did). Mrs Torchguy and I work from our home near Montagu from where we courier our products to customers all over South Africa, as we have done since early 2013.

2. We're not set up for drop-in visitors – I do hand over pre-ordered torches to visitors if they ask, but only by arrangement and with lots of warning. If you're in the area and you'd like to chat over an espresso or cappuccino, please drop me a line at mark@torchguy.com or WhatsApp me on 0845374818.

3. We currently send parcels to street addresses anywhere in SA with Courier Guy, and to more than 4,000 pickup points all over the country via Pargo, who give you eight days from the time of arrival to collect your parcel. Either method costs R100, but deliveries are free on all orders over R2k.

4. You have the legal right to return a torch, but we are allowed to levy a reasonable charge if you do. I NEVER sell returned torches as "new", only as "demo" units at 30% off, so this is the most I can refund. It also means you can be sure our torches really are NEW. Batteries and delivery charges are not refundable.

5. I am an accredited agent for all the torches I sell, and they all carry a factory warranty. On the very rare occasions they give trouble I liaise with the factory on your behalf – if they approve the claim (which they nearly always do) I will replace your torch or faulty component from stock, if I can, so you don't have to wait.

6. We don't have working hours – I'm available pretty much whenever I'm awake. However I greatly prefer texts (email or WhatsApp) to voice-calls so I can manage my time better and I have a record of our discussions. Please send a WhatsApp to 084 537 4818 or email mark@torchguy.com.

7. Please click on the following links if you'd like to know more about me, or about our business. These are the torches I sell, and this is what you need to know before you buy one.